You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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