I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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