..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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