Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You may now shotgun with the bride
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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