Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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