i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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