I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's official drugs can't kill me
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
