I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
