5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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