Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
