It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you would pick up someone in the library
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
