He is an equal opportunity slut.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
