know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
