i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
