Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
