He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
