I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
