Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
