This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
