used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
