I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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