I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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