I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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