Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize