the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
