Just cropdusted the office
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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