Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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