Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize