Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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