People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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