I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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