i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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