My hand turned me down
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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