hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
