i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
