He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i now understand why vodka
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
PANTIES FOUND
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