She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
