so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
