cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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