Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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