jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
