Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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