So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
