Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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