listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I didn't notice because vodka
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
