Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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