would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
