The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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