Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
