He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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