i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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