If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
