Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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