my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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