i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i think we sleep fucked last night...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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