I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize